Less Talk is Less Trouble

"And in the naked light I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more

People talking without speaking

People hearing without listening

People writing songs that voices never share

And no one dared

Disturb the sound of silence.

'Fools', said I, 'You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you'

But my words, like silent raindrops fell

And echoed

In the wells of silence." - lyrics by Simon and Garfunkle

 

 

Perhaps like me, when you read the lyrics to his song or hear it playing over the radio you think, "how poetic, how beautiful, how powerful."  At least that's how I felt until this past Yom Kippur when I took a vow of silence for the day, a tanit dibur. 

 

Yom Kippur is the highest and holiest day of the year where we, the Jewish people, dress in white, we don't wear leather, we refrain from eating/drinking, we don't shower or brush our teeth, we refrain from marital relations and spend a day in prayer and reflection.  Leading up to this day we prepare by asking anyone who we may have harmed over the past year for forgiveness.  We physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare ourselves for our meeting with the Creator of Heaven and Earth.  We atone.  We afflict ourselves with many physical restrictions for the day and we prepare to ask Gd for another year of life, income, health, love, happiness.  We ask Gd to forgive us for our misdeeds, our broken promises, our gossiping, our selfishness, our transgressions.  I decided to add to this, without much prior knowledge of what I was getting in to, a 25 hour tanit dibur.

 

For the past few years of living in Israel I have heard stories of people who have completed a tanit dibur.  I honestly just thought it would be a nice break from small talk, not to mention probably nicer than talking to people with unbrushed teeth.  I truly had no idea what was in store for me.

Jeremiah HaNavi (the Prophet) compared speech to an arrow.  Once an arrow leaves the bow, it's gone.  The same applies to words.  No matter how deeply you regret saying something, once you said it, it has been said and it's out in the world.  Shelomo HaMelech (King Solomon) says that even a foolish person who is silent is considered wise.  If someone doesn't speak you will not find out how foolish he really is.  When a person thinks he's performing a very spiritual act, his Neshama is at work, and many times you have great ideas and they should be spoken, but think for a moment that you are taking something that is entirely spiritual, a thought, and turning it into a physical thing, a word.  When you think, you are in control of your body, but when you speak, your body is in control of you.

"Woe is to a man who lets something come out of his mouth who doesn't understand how he is saying it!  Every word that comes out of your mouth is written and recorded whether for good or for bad. (Midrash Tanchuma).  Can you imagine the scene in [Heaven] when they play everything you said?  You will realize that there are many things that you said that you wish you didn't!  The Zohar says that when a person is born, HaShem gives them a certain amount of words for a lifetime and after they use up that number, they cannot speak anymore!"

The bottom line is; How can you learn if you never listen!?  The Kotzker Rebbe says that our egos stand between us and HaShem, we speak so people will know how funny and smart we are.  Work on perfecting yourself on the inside and don't worry so much about what everyone else thinks. 

So I spent the day in silence.  

Thanks to a suggestion from a friend of mine, I made a card stating: "I'm sorry, but I'm in a tanit dibur. May you be inscribed in the book of life for the coming year."  If anyone tried to speak with me, I placed my hand on my heart as an apology and I showed them the card. 

A day of silence.  Can you imagine?  The only words I spoke were in prayer and repentance.  I "unplugged" and disconnected myself from my cellphone, computer, radio, iPod...small talk... everything.  One day of just me and just Gd. 

For me, someone who takes part in formalized and traditional prayer services, it seems to struggle at times to stay focused.  I mean, how do you make someone else's words meaningful each and every time you pray?  Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, it becomes mechanical.  Then when I try to speak my own private prayers from their heart, I often get side tracked and start thinking about the millions of other things I could be doing with my time.  *Sigh*  It's incredibly difficult to pour your heart out to Gd and to say what it is that you're sorry for, how you messed up, to ask for forgiveness, and to potentially ask for a few things that you need for the coming year... especially when we may suddenly develop ADD and the way the curtain is blowing next to the fan suddenly becomes much more interesting. 

Lets face it, we all do it sometimes.  We try to create a relationship with the Kadosh Barachu, but how do you create that connection with an intangible entity?  We're finite creatures attempting to have a conversation with Infinity.  I say, you should talk to HaShem like He's your best friend; tell the Holy One everything.  Easier said than done though.  I can sit here, close my eyes and say, "Ok Sarah, now's your chance.  What do you want to say?"  Only to draw a blank.

This Yom Kippur, my vow of silence (except in prayer) manifested into the greatest spiritual high and connection that I have ever felt.  The whole day was like a meditation.  Without the distractions from the outside world I found myself banging on my chest and saying every word of Viduy (Confession) with zeal that I've never felt before.  I stood before the Heavenly Court and chanted, "We have been guilty; we have betrayed; we have robbed; we have spoken slander.  We have committed iniquity; we have committed wickedness; we have sinned willfully; we have extorted; we have made false accusations.  We have given advice that is bad; we have been deceitful; we have scorned; we have rebelled; we have provoked [Gd's anger]; we have strayed; we have been iniquitous; we have sinned rebelliously; we have caused distress; we have stiffened our necks.  We have been wicked; we have been corrupt; we have committed abominations; we have gone astray; we have scoffed..."

As the day wore on (the hottest Yom Kippur Israel has had in 50 years, mind you) I weakly stood, energy dwindling, for the last hour and half of my fast and listened to the Chazzan's beautiful voice leading us through Nehila services.  I suddenly found myself uplifted.  24 hours and 45 minutes into a fast and vow of silence and I felt renewed, an extra burst of energy running through me.  I sang "Avinu Malkainu (Our Father, Our King), be gracious with us, and answer us, though we have no worthy deeds; treat us with charity and kindness and save us".  I yelled out with my congregation, "Shema Yisroel HaShem Elokanu HaShem Echad - Hear O Israel, HaShem is our Gd.  HaShem the One and Only".  At the sound of the last shofar blast... I was then transformed, energized and uplifted towards a different realm of personal clarity. 

The congregation burst into song and dance, "Next year in Jerusalem! L'Shana Habaa B'Yerushaliym!"  I bless us all that we may merit the building of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.  I bless us all with peace, tranquility, love, laughter, health, and happiness. 

I sit now at the doorstep of Sukkot, the feast of the fall harvest.  Now, after having spiritually cleansed ourselves we will move outdoors into our temporary dwellings for the next week.  We will eat, sleep, and enjoy our friends a family in a temporary booth made of cloth, wood, and palm branches.  As we lie out under the stars, enjoy the moments of silence.  Listen to the crickets, listen to nature, listen to yourself.  Under the stars we can ponder Infinity and if we're lucky, hear it...

The sound of silence.

Summer Insomnia

At 3:23am I just couldn't fall asleep.  Since about 11:45pm I had been attempting to go to sleep.  At 12:00am the Israeli government was making good on their promise to start releasing 26 (of 104) Palestinian terrorists.  Most were released to their homes in Judea (where I live), Samaria, and Gaza.  This move was made as precondition to get the Palestinians to the negotiating table for peace.  Let me reiterate... we, Israel, have so far released 26 convicted murderers back to their homes throughout the West Bank and Gaza.  

Disgusting.  Infuriating.  Unheard of anywhere in the world but here.  Anger and resentment boils over inside of me like a volcano close to erupting.  I'll get back to that.  Let me back up...

At about 7:30pm Tuesday evening I was driving from Tekoa to Jerusalem when I saw something unusual at the traffic circle by Herodian.  As I approached and slowed down I saw what must have been roughly 100 Arab villagers converging on the traffic circle, blocking traffic, and exiting their cars. Simutaneously I saw Israeli army jeeps arriving and IDF soldiers dressed in full riot gear walking towards the crowd.  Nothing was happening... yet.  No one was yelling or screaming, but my heart was pounding in my ears so loud that I could no longer hear the music playing on my radio.  Suddenly an Arab man starts waiving at me to drive forward, into the crowd.  At this point I was the first car in what was quickly becoming a traffic jam on my side of the road.  I saw an opening in the crowd and cars and I floored it.  The some 30 seconds it took me to get to the other side of the mass of people felt like an eternity.  I prayed, "Hear me Ha'Shem, grant me safe passage to their other side of this road.  Protect me, protect the other travelers, protect our soldiers.  I don't know what is happening or why, nor do I currently care.  Just protect us."  I silently thanked Ha'Shem as I drove and pushed 140km/hr racing towards the checkpoint to enter Jerusalem.  Thank you Ha'Shem, for allowing me to learn how to drive and handle any car.

Later, after driving back home on the same road, which was now deserted and silent, I again offered up a prayer of gratitude.  "May this be the worst of what I experience in my days living in Israel," I concluded.

Will it be the worst?  My ideological and hopeful peace-loving side of my self fervently hopes that it was.  The realist in me knows that is bull-shit!  She knows that I have only seen a sliver of the truth of what it means to be an Israeli.  

So there I sat, at 11:45pm reading news article after new article announcing the release of men like Raai Ibrahim Salam Ali.  Raai Ibrahim was arrested in 1994 and sentenced to life imprisonment for the murder - using an axe - of 79 year-old Morris Aizenshtat who was sitting on a park bench in Kfar Saba reading a book at the time.  Let me also reiterate that... Morris, a 79 year-old man, was sitting on a park bench reading a book when he was murdered by Raai Ibrahim with an axe.  An axe!  As of last night, Raai Ibrahim was most likely welcomed home to Gaza with party and fan fare as a true hero of the Palestinean people.  As I write this, I have to swallow hard to make sure that I don't throw up out of disgust and anger.  I cry with and for the Aizenshtat family (and many more), knowing that their loved ones murderer is a free man who is being celebrated as a hero.

Yet somehow, it is believed that all of this will bring peace?

As my insomnia kept my mind running and my adrenaline pumping I attempted many things to wear myself out.  I watched a movie.  I read a book.  I tried to meditate and breathe deeply.  Sometime after 3:00am the real noise started.  Pop, pop, blast, pop, pop, bang, blast, bang, bang... over and over and over again.  I haven't been here long enough to know the difference in the sounds of fireworks versus gunfire (apparently one develops an ear for these things), so I silently told myself that it must be fireworks... it was gunfire.  I rolled over, once again attempting to fall asleep.  Sometime around 4:00am (I'm not sure what time exactly) I hear the Muslim call to worship for morning prayers to begin.  The pops, bangs, and blasts had barely begun to lessen when the loud speakers kicked in from the Arab village across the way.  "Aaaaalllllllaaaahhh!!" it wailed, followed by a series of undecipherable chantings.  The speakers blared as if someone was standing outside my bedroom window with a mega-phone.  "Allah hu Akbar" it screamed through my sleepless mind (Allah is great).  At nearly 4:30am, you know what's really great?  SLEEP!

I am now sitting on my couch as the latest wave of pops and bangs and blasts echo across the waadi from their hilltop to ours.  Every sound amplifies the fury inside of me.  Each celebratory blast for them is another kick in the chest for us, knocking the wind out of our tired and frustrated sails.

The UN makes us, Israel, out to be the terrorists of the Middle East.  Somehow, we are still the bad guys.  As rockets are fired into Southern Israel, as murderers are welcomed home as heros throughout the West Bank and Gaza, and as Northern Israeli hospitals continue to care for and treat victims of the Syrian civil war, we are lauded as the 'bad guys'.  Despite, or maybe because of this, the resilience of Israelis is still unsurpassable.  This stops no one from living their lives.  It is currently two weeks before school starts up again, and Israelis are still vacationing in the Red Sea, jumping into waterholes, hiking, camping, shopping, going to movies, etc.  

These murderers are welcomed to their homes as freedom fighters, defenders of Allah, true heros.  This "bargain" for peace is nothing more than an incredibly harmful illusion and political manipulation at its finest.  If Bibi (Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu) really had balls, not one convicted murderer would leave jail.  Not one!  If John Kerry truly understood the history, pain, triumph, tragedy of the Middle East, then I'm sure he would be preaching a different path to peace.  America does not negotiate with terrorists, remember?  Why should we?

Despite my cynicism, I still pray for peace.  Real peace.  Lasting peace.  Despite the fighter jets and helicopters that seem to fly so low it rattles my apartment windows.  Despite the questionable pops and blasts that could either be fireworks or gunfire.  Despite seeing IDF dressed in riot gear approaching a group of Arabs who are blocking the road.  Despite it all, they, our Arab cousins, will NOT drive me out from my home.  They will not bully me into giving up my home.  They will continue to push until we are driven into the Mediterranean Sea.  We can not compromise with terrorism.  We can not compromise with bullies.  

Until then, the day of true, uncompromising, peace... all I can do is pray.

לב – Heart

As I sit on my bed, MacBook on my lap, reading terrifying news from around the world I can hear birds chirping out my bedroom window.  My neighbors grey-water system water fall trickles soothingly and steadily in complimentary rhythm.  My serenity.  I can close my eyes and drink in the sounds of spring time.

I open my eyes and scan another article.  An Israel air strike last weekend in Syria.  The civil war in Syria is still threatening to spill over our borders in the north east.  The Hamas ran Gaza strip has still fired rockets into southern Israel while residents were celebrating the beginning of Lag B'Omer.  Hezbollah in Lebanon is teetering on the edge of joining the Syrian soldiers against the rebels.  Meanwhile in the US, a couple of psychos bombed a marathon in Boston and fertilizer plant exploded causing massive damage.

This sharp contrast between peace, harmony and beauty versus terror, war, and devastation is like teetering on the fence of sanity and insanity.  Do I dare taste the fruit of the tree of knowledge between good and evil?  It's all just one click away.  In the palm on my hand sits my smartphone, the miniature sized computer that, with the tap of a finger, can give me a wide range of answers to looming questions.    Do I dare to get them answered?  Instead I read headlines and scan over a few articles that catch my eye, taking a break from the black hole of bleak-sounding news from around the world.  It helps me to breathe a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, back at home... in Tekoa the wind picks up and blows fiercely out my window.

To live in Israel, to be an Israeli in the Jewish homeland, you must really really want it.  You have to work hard to be a citizen.  You must be ready to fight for your rights, your place, your home.  Not only ready to stand up for Israel's right to exist, but your own personal existence as well.  In a country in modern infancy things like bureaucracy, diplomacy, and even pleasantries can be hard to come by.

This is what we have.  This small sliver of land that is disputed all over the world.  Even intellectual greats like Stephen Hawking choose to boycott against Israel, the only democracy in the middle east.  This means that his support is for "Palestine", a nation of "displaced refugees" who's national charter calls for the complete annihilation of the country I call home.  For this man, boycotting Israel should not be a limited one.  If he truly is going to boycott Israel, he should please remove the Israeli Intel technology that helps him and allows him to speak.

Mr. Hawking was invited to a conference in Israel hosted by President Shimon Peres called Facing Tomorrow.  This conference is meant to bring together a diverse group of 5,000 world leaders and intellectuals for discussions on an array of pressing world topics including; geopolitics, economics, environment and culture.  President Peres, a Nobel Prize laureate is using his position and political capital to address some of the world's most pressing issues.  "To boycott this effort is not reasoned criticism but rather pure chutzpa - an attempt to destroy an Israeli initiative not on its merits, but simply because it originates in the Jewish state." - Yvette Alt Miller via Stephen Hawking and the Israel Boycott - Sometimes very smart people do very dumb things.

Situations like these blatant anti semitic protests tend to leave me at a loss for words.  There is nothing that I can say or express that would accurately depict the racism and ignorance that I see.  That, makes me sad. 

Fortunately I was able to read something good in the news this past week.  A man by the name of Charles Ramsey became an over night hero when he responded to the screams of a woman in distress in Cleveland, OH.  This imperfect man with a scattered past did what was right and what needed to be done.  "There was a woman in distress, so why turn your back on that?" he told interviewers.  On that day, Charles Ramsey rose to the challenges he faced and was the man he had the potential to be.

We all have that potential within us.  We have the potential to be the greatest possible version of ourselves.  When we're scanning the news and feeling overwhelmed by the hatred and violence that surrounds us we can think to ourselves about how we positively affect our olam hakatan (our personal small world).  Our home, our neighborhood, our community, our city, our country... Do we have it within us to be a Charles Ramsey?  To ignore that inner voice that says we've done wrong, we've hurt, we've lied, we've cheated?  Instead just do what needs to be done to help others?  To turn down the cash reward and be humble?  

Charles Ramsey gives me hope that the intrinsic goodness of mankind is still in there... somewhere, despite the ignorance of intellectual greats like Stephen Hawking.  

Just a few days ago, the 27th day of the Hebrew month of Iyar, I celebrated my 32nd birthday.  In gematria (Hebrew numerology), the number 32 correlates with the Hebrew letters lamed ל and bet ב... spelling LEV לב - HEART.  As many friends and family have told me the year of "Heart" should lead to an opening of the heart.  To that merit, I bless each and every one of you to also have an opening of the heart.  You should find your inner strength and heroism in the face of intolerance and cruelty.  Open your hearts to joy and love.  Only then will we be able to make this world a better place for us, our children and our children's children.


==

On a final note... I found some interesting information about astrology according to the Hebrew calendar.  The month of Iyar makes me a Taurus whereas my English birthday (May 31) makes me a Gemini.  Since I'm living on the cusp of two signs, I've included both passages.

"We do not study astrology so we can learn how to draw up people's horoscopes. On the contrary, the purpose of kabbalistic astrology is to rise above the influences of the cosmos and take control over our own lives." - Wisdom in Astrology

IYAR (TAURUS)

Taurus is a fixed sign, ruled by Venus (Noga, in Hebrew), and the Hebrew letters Pei and Vav. Taurus' inner energy is fire, as it is the left column of the earth signs. Because Taurus is an earth sign, Taureans are in a constant search for stability in life and financial security. They are typically self-employed business owners which places them in "control" of their monies and property. Taureans have a very strong will to purchase and buy property, houses, land and real estate – all in order to support their need for security. Taureans are very capitalistic, jealous and possessive of their property. They will frequently experience loss of money to learn to let go of the physical world's domination over their lives.

Taureans have healing powers and deep talents to be doctors, astrologers, artists, chefs, singers and, of course, businesspeople. The Hebrew name for the month is Iyar, which stands for "Ani Hashem Rofecha" – "I am God, your Healer". This offers us all the ability to instigate healing processes during this month.  Taurus is associated with the Thyroid gland and the neck, best known by their "stiff-necked" stubbornness.

The entire month of Iyar falls during the period of Sefirat Haomer (the Counting of the Omer). During this time we count 49 days between Pesach and Shavuot, and each day gives us an opportunity to correct negative things we did in our past. These 49 days are seven times seven different levels of negativity, all leading up to the revelation on Mount Sinai and Immortality, accessed on Shavuot. Because the month of Iyar always falls during the Omer, it is time of low energy. It is a time in which we can earn the Light that we received on Pesach and prepare ourselves for freedom from all forms of death and end – in relationships, business, health, and all aspects of life.

SIVAN (GEMINI)

Sivan is the third month of the Hebrew (lunar) year, and is Central Column of the air signs.

The controlling planet is Mercury, in Hebrew – Kochav. Kochav's numerical value is Caf Vav = 26 (the Yud Hei Vav Hei or the Tetragrammaton) and Caf Bet = 22 letters of the Hebrew Alphabet, together creating the most powerful and energetic combination.

Mercury is the planet of communication, which means it has the qualifications of an electrical cable, telephone wire, a teacher, an adviser, a story teller - basically anything that can transfer any information from point a to point b.

The letter (Zayin) created the sign of Gemini and the letter (Resh) created Mercury. Together these two letter create the word Raz, whose numerical value is 207 - Light (Or). Raz also means secret (sod) in Hebrew.

Many secrets were revealed in the cosmos during the month of Sivan. Sivan is known as the month of "Matan Torah - the giving of the Torah." The sixth day of the month, the holiday of Shavuot, is the cosmic day on which we finish the the counting of the Omer and culminates the 49 days that we began counting on the first day of Pesach. When the awesome light of freedom was revealed on Pesach, this light was given to us with no effort from our side. That is why we "count the Omer"; to build vessels, through correcting our actions that cause the Light to be concealed. On this fiftieth day after Pesach, we reach the level of Binah. An awesome amount of light is revealed on this day, as it is the anniversary of when people of the world received the Torah. The energy of Zeir Anpin - the endless Light of "bila hamavet lanetzach – when death was swallowed up forever, which resulted in immortality. The very same energy of immortality is revealed each year on Shavuot. The Ari says that whoever remains awake on Shavuot, engaging in Zohar study, is promised to be total protection and safety until Rosh Hashanah.

Geminis are intellectuals who have the desire to know everything, and an unlimited curiosity to collect information of every kind. This is because knowledge is power, and the more information gathered today will make future choices easier to make. The Gemini's need to collect information enables them to choose what is good and what is bad, what is right or wrong. This explains Gemini's tendency to jump from one subject to the other, and that is why, of course, they have many questions, doubts and uncertainties. The end result is their reluctance to enter any sort of commitment.

The solution for this personal obstacle is to find a teacher, someone that is able to give satisfactory answers to all questions. This will enable the Gemini to focus on one way, one God, which gives them a better chance to reach certainty. There is no greater teacher than a Gemini with a firm sense of certainty. As a communication sign, Gemini can be the perfect channel, one who can learn, understand and teach. The ideal for a Gemini is to be a channel for as many people as possible, especially for those who are lost on their path, and help others to reach their own personal certainty.

The duality of Gemini is expressed in every area of life. They embody the ability to do more then one task at the same time, as well as the the difficulty to commit in relationships. They have trouble with loyalty to one political party (as the servant of two masters), and they tend to change moods, like the wind changes direction and strength. That is why Geminis can be a different person each day.

Settlers

This fantastic piece was written by a friend and neighbor of mine when we took a creative writing class together here in Tekoa.  Thank you Debbie for allowing me to share.  

== SETTLERS == 

by Debbie Rosenzweig

“Oh, you look different than I expected,” she observed aloud, scanning me from top to bottom and back again over her maroon plastic rimmed glasses. She clearly considered it a compliment, smiling as she edited the data entry she had filed away about me in her brain based on our previous conversations. Gila is the distributor of one of the English text book companies that I use to teach my students in the elementary school in Tekoa, a village located in the Gush Etzion settlement of the West Bank. Like other places of a similar status, Tekoa is considered legal by Israeli law and illegal by international law; the strongest safeguard of our security by some, the strongest obstacle to peace by others; the essence of our heritage and identity by some, the epitome of racism and apartheid to others.

Gila and I were meeting to discuss the most effective way in which to use the text books. After several obnoxious phone conversations, we had decided to meet in a coffee shop in Jerusalem, because she refused to cross “the Green Line” to get to the dangerous settlement I call home, no doubt picturing a smattering of caravans studded with bullet wounds, personally guarded by gun-toting religious fanatics foaming at the mouth.

“What did you expect?” I challenged, as I sat in the empty chair beside her. My response threw her off guard, as I knew it would. “Oh, I don’t know,” she stammered, “how long did it take you to get here?” Classic subject change. “Ten minutes,” I shrugged triumphantly, choosing to trim it down by eight minutes to make her feel stupid, instead of exaggerating in the opposite direction to make her feel guilty about dragging me out here. “That’s it?” she blurted out, surprised.  “Sure,” I responded nonchalantly. Mission accomplished.

Over the course of the following hour and a half, Gila repeatedly complimented me on my intelligence, my analytical skills, and my concern for the students, noting in typical Israeli fashion that she really hadn’t liked me over the phone. Thanks. The feelings are mutual. My disdain for her increased with each patronizing accolade, culminating with her final confession: “I just thought you were going to be, like a – like a – mitnachelet!” she confessed, referring to a female settler, often seen wandering suspiciously through illegal territories wearing far too much mismatched fabric, splattered with the vomit of her own babies and the blood of her neighbors, leading a pack of wild, predominately male children with matching fleeces and disheveled sidelocks, tzittzit blowing furiously in the desert wind.

“There are all sorts of people in Tekoa,” I explained, exhibiting great intelligence and concern for my ignorant, offensive student, “secular, religious, American, Russian, French…”. “French?!?” she interrupted, trying to Photoshop a cultured European with high heels and even higher moral standards into her image of the occupied territories. We soon wrapped up the meeting and promised to be in touch, but our interaction stayed with me as I caught busses and hitchhikes back to my home, such a mystery to so many people in this country.

Just over half a year ago I was busy with my own deliberations about moving here; what about convenience, security concerns, political statements, community? I had recently returned from several months of volunteering in Nepal with an Israeli NGO along with American and Israeli Jews, mostly secular, anti-capitalist, vegetarian left -wingers who looked at me and my bearded, skullcap wearing then-fiancé with confusion and distrust. After months of building relationships, breaking stereotypes, and pretending to help disadvantaged Nepali children, I told one of my friends that we were thinking of moving to Tekoa. “I’m sorry I won’t be able to visit you there,” she explained, “but I refuse to go somewhere that I am so ideologically opposed to.” When she did come visit months later, she was shocked by what she saw – long-legged Russian women in short shorts walking their dogs, secular and religious teens hanging out together at the pool, beautiful, permanent homes with lovely gardens, and a breathtaking view of the Judean desert.

A place which seeks to both destroy labels and respect those that others choose to use forces us to challenge our prejudices while maintaining our sense of hard earned identity and lifestyle.  I remember the confusion I experienced when I left seminary and went to study in Bar Ilan University. I had self righteously donated all my pants and immodest clothing to charity and moved to Israel, to what I thought was a holy world of black and white capital T truths, only to date a religious guy who didn’t believe in the messianic redemption, learn heresy from highly respected Jewish history and philosophy professors, and see young married women wandering around campus in head scarves and pants. Pants! I resisted such dangerous temptations, holding on to the absolute truths that had given me no choice but to abandon my family, friends and lifestyle to move to a warzone, yet the world I was building for myself was already starting to shake.

Now, several years later, I find myself at home here, in this pluralistic, mixed settlement, representing people all across the religious, ideological, ethnic and cultural spectrum. I take great pleasure in being unable to tell which of my students are from observant homes, in not having to worry about being judged by my outfit, in hearing Spanish, Russian, French, Hebrew and English in the streets, in sharing my space with people who are different from me, and, of course, in sticking it to the Gilas of the country, showing them what a true mitnachelet is really like.

Video Intermission

As I continue to take the time to make the necessary preparations for my big trip to the states, I've been finding it hard to take the time to sit down and write...

In light of that dilemma I have decided that for the next few weeks I will be sharing links to videos and articles that I think are of interest or importance as opposed to posting articles.

I am in the process of writing a few larger pieces that I hope to share in the very near future.  In the mean time, please watch these two videos from Danny Ayalon.

= JERUSALEM =

= THE TRUTH ABOUT THE REFUGEES =

As we approach the Passover season I wish everyone a kosher and happy holiday.  

= JUST FOR FUN =

Going Up

This week, in honor of the two year anniversary of alliyah (immigration to Israel), I would like to share a piece of writing that I did for a creative writing class I'm taking in Tekoa... Enjoy!

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It's been two years, as of today... February 9th, since I stepped off that El Al flight into Ben Gurion International airport in Tel Aviv.  Two years since that completely anti-climatic first day as an Israeli citizen.  "Here you are, Miss Neal.  It's your Teudat Oleh (new immigrant card).  You're now an Israeli citizen," the woman said in a 'matter-of-fact' way.

There was no one dramatically kissing the ground like I was told there would be, blessing the holy ground of Israel.  Although my dad said they did on his trip to Israel, no one sang "Hatikvah" (Israeli national anthem) as the plane landed.  I was 29 years old and traveling alone, moving alone to the other side of the planet.  As if some sort of Divine tweezers picked me up out of Bakersfield, California and plopped me down in a West Bank village in Israel.  Now, two years later, I find myself sitting in my cousin's living room listening to friends and family play music.

It's in moments like these, when I find myself lost in the beat of gypsy jazz, Israeli folk songs, and classic rock that I take account of both my blessings and how much my life has changed.  In my cousin's living room with people who less than three years ago I didn't know at all, I feel at home.  The wood burning stove and peach colored couches fill me with familiarity and a sense of belonging.  The roughly 20 neighbors and friends all crowed into the living room singing along creates a feeling of intimacy and love.

"L'chaiim!"  To life.  Another round of shots are poured as toasts are made to a new week, a good week, a week of peace.  May gladness rain, and joy increase.
 

This picture, this love filled living room reminds me of why I picked this place to live.  My yishuv (village) is a mixed community of religious and non-religious Jews; Ashkenazim (those of European decent) and Sephardim (those of Middle Eastern decent); French, Russian, North American, and Australian Jews; Israelis of several generations and new immigrants.  The common factor is a love of Israel:  Zionism.  My kippah (skull cap) wearing tarbuka playing friend sitting near my secular guitar playing cousin illuminates some of the many reasons I choose to live in a "settlement".

I never knew how lost I was.  I never knew how much I longed for a Jewish community.  I never knew how badly I wanted to forge a new life.  It's impossible to know how lost you are until you are found.  It's impossible to know what was missing in life, until that void has been filled.  It's impossible to know how desperate my need was for a drastic change until I made one.  Now, to the beat of tarbukah (African drums) and the melodies of the piano, guitar, violin, mandolin, and harp... I am found.  Now, as I sit together with new friends and family I know that this is where I'm meant to be.  That Ha'Shem had a plan for me all along.

Although I think some people in America think I've gone crazy, I know the truth.  They watch gruesome news articles depicting zealous hill top settlers, toting guns, at war with Arab neighbors.  That must be where they think I've moved.  To some remote desert outpost, plotting the demise of everyone who doesn't think like me, act like me, pray like me.  As the music continues to play, I laugh to myself.  They don't see what I see.  They don't know what I know.  Yes, now I live in the desert on the other side of the "green line" in a small community in Judea, called Tekoa.  I live simply and peacefully with new neighbors and friends.

As I sit together with friends in this room so far away from what I called home I flash back to what my life used to be.  Fancy cars, meeting celebrities and wearing high heels feels like a whole other life time ago.  Hitch hiking, wiping runny noses and sensible walking shoes is my new life.  My life has transformed from discussions over the latest trend or celebrity sighting to talks about the peace process and where I am finding myself "religiously".

Now, after spending the majority of the last few years in Israel, I find myself on a path of religious, spiritual and political exploration and enlightenment.  Although I'm still figuring it all out for myself I know that in a country of every type of Jew I could ever think of I can find what is right for me.  I feel as though it is our obligation as human beings, not just Jews, to find truth.  Truth, meaning and enlightenment for ourselves, not for anyone else... just for us as individuals.  I think it's enormously important to ask questions and find purpose in our lives.  To find a place within ourselves for openness and acceptance.  A place of love, peace and harmony even if it means moving to the other side of the world to do it.

As we enter the Hebrew month of Adar we should remember that this is the month of happiness and joy.  I bless you all to find as much as I have of both in the coming month! 

Anti Semitism

The rise in anti-semitic, anti-zionistic, anti-Israel, anti-Jewish rhetoric circling the web is nothing short of disturbing and disgusting.  Last Sunday, which is International Holocaust Memorial Day and the day that marks the liberation of Auschwitz, The Sunday Times of UK ran the following political cartoon.

As one can plainly see, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is depicted building a wall using the blood of Palestinian men and women.  Staring at this picture I am incredibly filled with anger and disappointment that only a short 72 years after the Holocaust officially began we seem to have lost sight as to what began this tragic time in history altogether.  A time when the world seemed to have lost all sense humanity.  What began as political cartoons in newspapers throughout Europe quickly turned into the systematic murder of millions of men, women, and children.  Families were sent to their deaths in concentration camps, like Auschwitz, where they were gassed and bodies burned.  Political cartoons such as this one, are echos of a not so distant past.  A traumatic, to say the least, time in history when the world went mad.  Will we ever learn?  Will we ever understand that to be part of the human race means to be humane?  To be caring and loving towards one another.  To stand up for what is good and right.  To have the fundamental right to exist.  

Auschwitz -where millions of lives were lost during WWII.

Tyrannical regimes like, Iran, Syria, and Russia (just to name a few) are consistently denying that there even was a Holocaust.  Denying that millions of people were enslaved into forced labor until there was nothing left but lifeless bodies waiting to die.  They call us the zionist problem of the middle east.  Us.  Israel.  The only true democracy in the middle east that fights for human rights, while defending her own right to exist.  The only place in the middle east that Christians, Jews, and Arabs can all be citizens and freely worship the Divine Entity that they call their own.  Christians and Jews have been driven out of nearly every Muslim country in the middle east, where religious freedom is unheard of.  Where elections are rigged and whomever has the most money can grab up power and call themselves "leaders".

Open your eyes!  Wake up!  What is happening in the world all around us is unacceptable.

"First they came for the socialists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist. 
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me."  -Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)

We are supposed to be an evolved race, the human race.  We have technology at the tips of our fingers. We have modern science that can be used to save lives, stop hunger, and poverty.  Yet, still somehow the Jewish people are the focus of world events.  For what?  For nothing more than the notion of right to exist.  As the "chosen people", I have often pondered what we have been chosen for.  To be an international scapegoat?  To be a nation of people that are an easy target?  Why, because we look funny?  We wear little skull caps, have big dangling side burns, cover our hair, and dress modestly?  We pray in an ancient language?  We have the same rituals, traditions, and holy books for thousands of years?

Because I have blond hair and blue eyes, I was never personally a victim of anti-semitism.  I guess I don't "look Jewish".  Whatever that means.  I don't have a big hook nose?  My devil horn are hidden under my wavy hair that's not curly enough to be "Jewish"?  Not personally being a victim of persecution doesn't make it any easier to be around.  How do people stand by idly touting freedom of speech, which is truly freedom of hatred... freedom of incitement and ignorance.  This is not freedom.  This is what it's like being shackled to misinformation, misconception, and ignorance.  This is not open mindedness and tolerance.  This does not support the idea of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Recently I came across a fantastic group called, Toldot Yisrael who are helping to get out the truth about the history of the state of Israel.  Much like CAMERA is doing to ensure accurate news reporting in the middle east, and Free Middle East are doing to create awareness as to the truth about Israel.

Educate yourselves.  Find your truth and stand up for what you believe in.  Stand up for freedom.  Stand up for humanity.  Stand up for justice.  Knowledge is power and believe me, those looking to brainwash you into a lemming like state of hypnosis will do so at every twist and turn in the road.  

A Bravery Fiercer than Death

After now living in Israel as an Israeli citizen for 2 years I am proud and humbled to be part of something as special as this.  Crawling out from the crematoriums in Europe to arrive here, in the promised land is greatest of all blessings.  Listen up world, we have every right to exist and we will continue to do so through every face of adversity.  Every confrontation only makes us stronger and more ready to stand up for ourselves and what is right.  Never again.